I assure you that it is not.
Let me rewind back to last week.
I went and saw another house. It didn't have the same potential as others, but it had a nice brand new kitchen and a cute back porch and fenced-in yard. Suffice it to say, this house sucked in reality. It was the same age as the house I grew up in, but they had made none of the upgrades my parents have made (new windows, new blinds, updated bathroom, etc.) Whomp whomp.
So again, I was back on the disappointment train. When I turned all drama queen on my mom (who kindly drove to Greenville to look at the house with me), she finally said, "Why don't you just stop looking?" And I kind of had this gut feeling that maybe I just wasn't going to find the right house. I kept having an internal battle with myself about upping my budget, but I really didn't want to and didn't need to. So I was back to square one.
And then later that night, I met Ryan and his coworkers at Wild Wings for dinner. One of the couples at the table was married, and I actually adore their house and the location. Somehow we got on the topic of house hunting, and realtors, and Ryan just casually says, "Yeah, I don't really think it's a good idea to buy a house." UM WHAT?! Ryan and I are usually pretty good communicators, so I was kind of just stunned by his statement. I didn't want to cause a scene in front of everyone, so I just brushed off the comment until we got home.
And then the conversation went like this, "When were you planning on telling me that it was a dumb idea to buy a house??!?!?!" I can be such a real treat sometimes.
To be fair, Ryan has told me before that he's not entirely tied to his job here in Greenville. He likes it just fine, but he wouldn't have a problem leaving if he found a new one. He also misses his family, which I completely understand. And he has asked me if I'd be willing to move to Texas with him.
I think I just wanted to buy a house so bad that I figured if I was settled in Greenville, then Ryan would stay and settle here, too, with me. But I'm not really compromising here, am I? I get to keep my job that I love, see my family any time I want, and gallavant around Greenville happy as a clam. That's not fair.
So no matter what the future holds, I decided to put the house hunt on hold indefinitely. And truthfully, I feel kind of relieved having done so. I'll have so much more money to save (and spend!) not having to furnish an entire house upon moving in. My rent currently is cheap, I have an awesome roommate, we live right downtown and 3 minutes from our office, I have a huge bathroom and walk-in closet, and all the space I need.
But thank you to all of you for the kind words of encouragement while I was looking! I really appreciated it and know that it just wasn't meant to be for me right now. I'm already excited about the free space in my brain that won't be occupied by house hunting woes!